


Replaced By Her

by RachMcIn



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-09 14:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4352417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachMcIn/pseuds/RachMcIn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the last two months, I've had to accept the fact my best friend is dead, my boyfriend is also dead, and all my friends have somebody there for them while I'm all alone. Now the one guy who always loved me has moved on to the new girl. She is slowly replacing me and I'm the only one who can see it. And if that wasn't bad enough? I can't find it in myself to hate her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So I originally started this on Wattpad (TheLonelyGirl7) a year ago and have recently went back and saw people requesting I continue. I'm moving it here because I've switched sites and thought people here might like it.

The last two months have been so unbelievably bad. Allison is dead. My best friend. Dead. She was always there to cheer me up, but now she's gone. So is Aiden. We had our ups and downs, but I was crazy about him. I always knew he'd do the right thing when it came down to it. He did. And he died in the process. I haven't stopped crying since they died. I could't do anything to save either of them. I had tried to stop the pack from "saving" me from the nogitsune, but they came anyway and Allison was killed. With Aiden, I didn't even feel that he was about to die until Stiles asked if we all we're alive. I couldn't do anything for Allison or Aiden and it's killing me. I thought that one of my so called friends would be around to help me get through it. I was wrong. We were all grieving, but they all had somebody there for them. Scott has Kira, Argent has Isaac, Derek's missing, nobody cares about Peter, and Stiles has Malia. Ethan left Beacon Hills when Aiden died. I haven't heard anything from Jackson since he went to the UK after being turned into a werewolf so I'm on my own. I never thought the pack would let me go through this by myself. Especially Stiles. I wasn't blind. I knew he was crazy about me, but now it's like I don't exist. Whenever I see him at school, he's always with Scott or Malia. If he's with Scott I'll stop and say hi, but he takes off like I'm not there. Scott always gives me the same pitying look when it happens. When Stiles is with Malia, I don't bother saying anything. She's nice to me though. She smiles at me, so I'll smile back. I don't understand why she's nice to me. I'm just the girl who screams when someone is about to die. I can't do anything to save them. She can. Maybe that's why the pack is replacing me with her.


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Jeff said season 4 starts about two months after 3b ended. This chapter is supposed to be right before 4x01. I changed a few of the details. Don't read if you don't want season 4 spoilers.

I grabbed my food and turned to the tables throughout the lunchroom. Everybody was sitting with their friends. My gaze flitted between the different tables until it settled on one. Scott, Kira, and Stiles were in a deep conversation about something I couldn't hear. There was a seat left so I started making my way over. Stiles looked up when I was about a table away. I thought he was finally going to says something to me since he was looking me dead in the eye, but instead he called over Malia and dove back into the conversation as if he hadn't seen me. I felt the tears well up as I put my tray down on a random table and walked out of the lunchroom. I held back the tears until I was in the stands of the deserted lacrosse field. I sat down, pulled my knees up and let my head rest on them. The tears started again. I didn't bother trying to stop them. What's the point. It's not like anyone is going to notice. Who would notice poor Lydia Martin crying.

"They're idiots." I jumped at the sudden voice. I looked up and saw Danny down the row. "I don't know what happened, but they're idiots." I laughed through the tears. "I'm guessing you could really use a friend right about now."

"You have no idea." I laughed softly, patting the bench next to me.

"Is it Allison and Aiden?" Danny asked quietly as he sat down.

"Allison, Aiden, Jackson, basically everything." I said looking down at my hands.

"Well, I can't say I know what you're going through, but I'm here to listen." He told me as he held my hand. "About anything at anytime."

"Have you talked to Jackson or Ethan recently?" I asked trying to the focus off me a bit, but not wanting Danny to leave.

"Jackson and I talked a couple nights ago. He said it's been hard adjusting to life in London. I haven't talked to Ethan since shortly after he left Beacon Hills. He told me he probably wouldn't be able to stay in contact because he'd be on the run from all the enemies he and Aiden made." 

I leaned against Danny in silence. "I'm so sorry you've lost so much." I whispered. I knew that everything he'd lost was in some way related to all the supernatural happenings in Beacon Hills that he didn't know about.

"It's alright. I mean, there's nothing you could've done." He said in a lighthearted tone. 

It sent a pang of guilt through me. "No. I couldn't do anything." I mumbled. I closed my eyes and thought about everything since I got attack on the lacrosse field in front of me. There was never anything I could do to stop it all from happening.

"Lydia?" I looked up at Danny. "What happened with Allison? And Aiden?" He asked quietly.

"Allison died in a car-jacking gone wrong. She was stabbed and she died in Scotts arms." I said robotically, remembering the story Argent made us tell whenever we were asked.

"Were you there?" Danny asked looking concerned.

"No. Stiles had gotten sick so I was with him." I decided to go with a partial truth rather than lying to the one person who's talked to me in the last two months.

"What about Aiden? What happened? Were you there?"

"I'm not sure. We were in the school and I had gotten a really bad feeling so I ran outside and saw Ethan crying over Aidens body." I felt oddly numb as I finally talked to someone about what happened. Even if I was mostly telling partial truths.

"I'm so sorry Lyd. No one should have to go through all of that." Danny spoke honestly as he pulled me into a hug.

Before I could respond, the bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period. Danny helped me up and we walked back to the school in silence. For the first time in two months, I was able to talk to someone, making me feel a little less alone. I could only cross my fingers and hope that Danny would continue to talk to me. Maybe I'd even be able to fix whatever happened between the pack and me. That maybe, just maybe, Stiles would start talking to me again.

***

I walked over to my locker after the final bell. I put the books I wouldn't need for homework back into my locker, grabbed my keys, closing the locker and heading towards the door. I don't know why I even bother with homework. I'm already two and a half weeks ahead and have perfect grades. I could skip school for like a month before my grades would drop. Hmm... Now that's a thought. Instead of being reminded of the friends that abandoned me everyday at school, I could be alone at my house. Or grandma's old lake house.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard a familiar voice from behind me. "Hey...Um...Lydia?" I turned around and was face to face with Scott and Stiles. "We need your help." I had to bite my tongue in order to not snap a  _What no hey how you holding up Lydia?_ or  _Hey we're so sorry for totally abandoning you for the last two months after your best friend and boyfriend were brutally killed._ Scott's always so to the point when talking to people."Please Lydia? Meet us at Derek's loft at 4:30." They didn't even wait for a response before they walked away.

"Yeah it was great talking to you Stiles. I miss you too." I mumbled irritably to myself when I was sure Scotts wolfy hearing was out of range.

I decided that I'd go home. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to Derek's loft. If the pack wanted to apologize there have been so many chances to that they haven't taken. But if it's not an apology, then what did they want? I finally decided I would go just to find out what it was all about. I wasn't going to dress to impress them, so I changed into a pair of black leggings and a loose blue sweater. I threw my hair up into a messy bun and did a touchup on my makeup. "Do I really want to do this?" I asked myself as I walked out to my car.

I pulled up outside Derek's loft at 4:28. Even with my normal human hearing I could hear multiple voice arguing on the other side of the door so I paused. "NO! WE DON'T NEED LYDIA! SHE IS JUST A LIABILITY AND WILL SLOW US DOWN!" I knew that voice anywhere. "STILES! WE ALREADY AGREED AS A PACK THAT WE NEED HER HELP! NOW BE QUITE CAUSE SHE'LL BE HERE ANY MINUTE!" I was about to turn around and make a break for the stairs when the door was opened behind me.

"Hey Lydia!" I turned around and smiled at Malia."Don't listen to Stiles. He's being a dumbass worrying about you getting hurt."

I nodded and walked into the loft. Kira was comforting Scott in the middle of the room. Peter was lurking on the stairs as per usual. Stiles was standing in front of the windows. His back and shoulders were tense. He didn't turn around as I walked a little further into the loft. Malia briskly walked around me to Stiles. I could't help but wonder whatever happened to the boy who couldn't take his eyes off of me whenever I walked into the room.

"Thanks for coming." Scott once again broke me out of my thoughts. "As you know Derek has been kidnapped. We need to get him back. And we need your help in doing so." He paused for me to say something, but I kept my mouth shut and waited for him to continue. "Deaton knows who took Derek and he said that the family can be bought at the right price. We need you and Stiles to go in and pay to get Derek back. Kira, Malia, and myself will be blending in the crowd in the club and will be enforcing our side of the deal." He stopped again. Everybody's eyes were on me.

"Make no mistake. This is going to be incredibly dangerous. This is a family of werewolf hunters. And don't think them soft like the Argents. They will kill any supernatural being they deem as a threat." Peter stated as he walked down the stairs. "They will kill you without a second thought, Banshee." Now he was less than a foot away staring me down.

"Is that supposed to scare me?" My voice was quiet and strong.

He looked at me for a bit longer before backing away. "Looks like the Banshee is done with being a crybaby scardy cat."

"So will you help us? We can't do it without you, Lydia." Scott asked. His eyes pleading for me to say yes.

"Fine." I sighed. "When and where?"

"This weekend. Mexico." My breath got caught in my throat as my green eyes met those golden eyes I'd missed so much.

I nodded in acknowledgment before looking back at Scott. He gave me a grateful smile, but said nothing else. I turned and started to make my way out of the loft. Being around them was so much harder than I had thought it would be. Malia made a noise that sounded like she wanted me to stop. I did and turned back to her. She was in a very intense nearly silent conversation with Stiles. Malia seemed to back down from whatever she was planning which I thought was very odd. Stiles turned and gave me a icy glare I didn't know he was capable of. I quickly exited the loft and made my way back to my house. Why did I just agree to go to Mexico this weekend with the pack that had abandoned me?


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is based on 4x01. I didn't remember the leader of the scary Mexican hunters name, so I'm just calling her Arya. Enjoy!

Stiles and I were a block away from the hunters HQ. I really didn't like the plan. There was a voice in the back of my head whispering that something was going to go horribly wrong. It wasn't like the banshee voices when someone is about to die, it was more like a gut feeling. Every time I started to say something about it, he basically told me to shut it. I bit my lip but sighed as we approached the door. I asked the bouncers if this was the party in spanish. When they told me there was no party I turned to Stiles. he pulled out the card with the skull on it and flashed it to both the bouncers and the video camera. We walked to the bar and ordered drinks.

In no time there was a big guy over and questioning us. I was terrified and wanted nothing more than to hold Stiles hand for comfort and confidence, but knew that if I did, it would just expose my own weakness to everyone. With faux confidence I dropped the bullet into the drink and told the guy we weren't there for the party. He led Stiles and me into the back where the terrifying boss lady was. I continued to act with faux confidence even when she was asking about my powers as a banshee. Suddenly everything changed and we were grabbed and tossed into a room that seem to be unescapable. I looked at Stiles absolutely terrified. He didn't look at me but he looked worried.

"Everything is going to be fine. There's no way they get Kira, Scott, AND Malia." Stiles half said.

Within a minute the others were tossed in. They were all unconscious. "You were saying?" I grumbled.

"Could you shut up for like two seconds and help me find a way out?!" He snapped.

I visibly flinched away from him. Without another word, I started checking the walls and door for any possible escape point. I couldn't find one anywhere. Looking at Stiles, I could see he was reaching the same conclusion. He started cursing angrily and punched the wall a few times. Stiles eventually picked Malia up and walked to the far side under the sinks and laid her down so her head was on his lap. My heart ached when I watched him. He was so careful with her. I wish he'd still treat me like that. 

Like he comforted me when I thought I was wrong about Barrow. I missed those days.

To distract myself from the Stilia moment on the other side of the room, I started adjusting Scott and Kira so they'd be more comfortable.I stood up straight and took a step back. I was a couple feet in front of the door facing away from it when I heard it open. Before I could react, I was being dragged out of the room. The last thing I saw before the door was slammed shut again, was Stiles beautiful golden eyes filled with fear. I tried to fight the two large guys as they brought me up to the table outside.

"So miss Banshee," I looked at Arya "tell me about your powers. How do they work?" Her eyes were cold and calculating. "How much time do you need to tell when someone is going to die?"

"I don't know." I whispered. Tears were streaming down my face. "I don't know how it works."

"How close to their death does it have to be?" She continued to stare me down as she spoke.

"I don't know." I repeated.

"Minutes? Seconds?"

"I don't know." Peter's words were ringing in my ears.  _Make no mistake. They will kill any supernatural being they deem as a threat.They will kill you without a second thought, Banshee._  I was shaking with fear. Were they going to kill me?

"Tell me Banshee!" I shake my head. Out of no where she throws a knife at one of the guards in front of us. I shrieked.

"Wh-Why would yo-you do tha-at?" I stuttered.

"He stole from me." Arya shrugged as if it was nothing.

Before I could say anything, she nodded her head and I was dragged back inside. The lead me down a few hallways before ending up in front of another door. They pushed me into the room, causing me to stumble. "NO!" I looked up and saw Scott chained to a metal chair. He started struggling to get free. I was pushed onto a chair identical to the one Scott was on. I was tied to the chair with wires. I followed the wires back to an old battery.

"Let her go!" Scott continued to yell.

The guy from the bar last night walked in. He was pulling Kira along with him. He started explaining how since Kira was immune to electricity, she was going to shock Scott with the battery if he didn't give them an answer they like. If she didn't, they would shock me. Kira start fighting against him since she didn't want to hurt Scott. I closed my eyes just waiting for the pain.

"Just remember Fox; one of your friends can take the pain and heal, the other one, not so much." Arya said as she entered the room.

Arya asked Scott a question about Derek. She didn't like his answer and told Kira to shock Scott. Kira refused to hurt Scott, so the other guy stepped forward to shock me. Scott yelled for him to wait and told Kira that it was okay. Kira slowly stepped forward and turned the dial up to 1. Scott clenched his teeth and started screaming. It continued for so long. They turned the dial up to the point that Scott started to turn. I was crying because there was nothing I could do to help him. I kept twisting and turning my wrists, desperately trying to get free.

"Tell me who would want Derek! You know Scott! Tell me!" Arya yelled at Scott.

"I don't know!" He screamed.

"YOU KNOW! TELL ME! WHO WOULD WANT DEREK!"

"I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T... Kate." Scott whispered.

Arya walked over and turned the dial and turned it off. Scott breathed a sigh of relief. "You knew. You knew it was Kate all along." Scott said. He looked up at Arya as her goons walked over and untied the wires.

I stood up and rubbed my wrists. The goon led Kira and me out side to the jeep. Looking down at my wrists, I saw that the had gone raw and were bleeding a bit. I pulled down my sleeves and wiped my eyes really quick. Stiles and Malia came running out the door over to Kira and me. Malia pulled Kira into a hug.

"Are you guys alright?" Malia asked as she stepped back. She put a gentle, slightly comforting, hand on my shoulder as she spoke.

I nodded as Kira mumbled a yes. "What happened? Wheres Scott?" Stiles inquired as he did a quick once over of us. I motioned towards the door where he was talking to Arya still. My mind went blank as Scott walked over. I distantly heard him saying something about knowing where Kate was, but it was soon drowned out by white noise. I watched Braden pull up on her motorcycle before I climbed into the back of the Jeep.  
  


***

We had been driving in silence since we got in the car. My mind was numb as I thought about what

had just gone down. I was expecting Scott to let them shock me. I wasn't a part of his pack anymore. Why would he want to protect me from getting hurt? It just didn't make sense anymore.

Malia leaned forward and asked the question I knew she and Kira were dying to know the answer to. "Who's Kate?" Scott let out a deep breath and looked down but didn't answer. Stiles kept driving and let out a sigh, but also didn't answer. "I'd really like to know."

"Me too." Kira said leaning forward as well.

"Kate Argent. She's Allison's Aunt." I told them. My gaze never left the horizon through the window.

"Oh, you don't need to tell us." Kira said as she leaned back a bit.

"Um yeah they do." Malia responded almost immediately.

"She's right. We need to tell you guys." Scott finally said.

I closed my eyes and blocked them out. I didn't need to be reminded of my dead best friend. Or the fact that it was basically Kate's fault I was attacked by Peter during the dance. I wonder if Allison would still be alive if Kate never set fire to the Hale house. Would it have made a difference? Or would Allison still have died young because of a supernatural cause?

I was brought back to reality when there was a loud bang and the jeep sputtered to a stop. We all got out and looked around. Braden stopped and came back over to us.

"Scott, we have to keep going. We have to get there before it gets dark." Braden reminded him as she walked over.

"I can't just leave them." Scott responded.

"Just go Scott. We'll stay here. I'll fix the jeep and we'll catch up to you guys." Stiles told him.

Scott eventually agreed and started to walk towards Braden's bike. Kira ran after him to say a cute but awkward goodbye. They shared a very meaningful hug before Scott walked over to Braden and took off. I sighed before walking over to Kira to try and stop the regrets of not saying goodbye to Aiden.

"Why didn't you kiss him Kira?" I was genuinely curious as I asked. I mean, it was no secret they like each other.

Before Kira could respond, Malia said something that made my blood go cold. "Hey Stiles. I don't think you hit something. I think something hit us." She held up a long broken off claw of some sort. Stiles stopped working as we all went on high alert. "Keep working." she commanded Stiles. I held the flashlight for Stiles as I watched Kira and Malia scanning the distance for any signs of movement. Kira used her sword to reflect the headlight into the direction they were looking to make things more visible. "THERE!" Malia yelled as she took of running; Kira following behind her.

"MALIA!" Stiles yelled after her. He went to go after her.

"NO!" He stopped and looked at me. "Keep working on fixing the jeep. The sooner you fix it, the sooner we can ALL get out of here." I told him in the steadiest voice I could manage.

My hands were shaking as I held the flashlight. There was something out there that Malia and Kira went after. There could easily be a second one waiting to attack Stiles and me. And we would be completely defenseless if they did.

"Would you stop shaking the flashlight?!" Stiles snapped.

"I'm sorry! I'm just terrified because there is something out there and we are totally defenseless so I'm freaking out here!" I told him.

"So be a little less terrified!" He yelled at me.

I gasped and quickly tried to hide the pained look on my face. I know he saw it though. An emotion I couldn't put my finger on flittered through his eyes for a split second. Neither of us said anything after that. I held the flashlight as still as I could and just watched the ground. A couple minutes later, Stiles was done and shut the hood of the jeep. In the distance I saw Kira and Malia running back towards us. Malia was hurt. I could tell by the way she was holding her side. I didn't say anything until we were all packed into the jeep again and driving.

"That looks pretty deep. Are you sure you're okay?" I asked Malia.

"It's fine. It's healing." She responded with a hiss of pain.

"You can't do that Malia! I thought you were running!" Stiles yelled at her.

"But I was running?" Malia responded in confusion.

"No, I thought you were leaving. Without me." Stiles said in a quieter voice.

"I'd never leave you, Stiles!" She gasped in surprise. "Them? Them I would leave." She said nonchalant about me and Kira.

I rolled my eyes, but smiled to myself as Stiles turned and once again said "It's progress!" The rest of the drive to La Iglesias was silent. We all jumped out and watched as Braden and Scott half helped half dragged Derek over to us.

"Is that him? Is that Derek?" Malia asked.

I gasped as a teenaged Derek Hale looked up at us with sparking clear blue eyes. "Well, kind of." Stiles said, answering Malia.


	4. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is when I went on vacation so the story line changes a bit. I'm just going based on different clips I've been able to watch on YouTube. Please don't throw a Bitch Fit as the story changes from the show. Enjoy!

After we had gotten back from Mexico, the pack had dropped me off at home. I've been sitting in my room, staring at the wall in shock ever since then. Derek Hale was a teenager again. He's sixteen. I agreed to help them because, even though he wouldn't admit it, whenever I was in danger, Derek was there to help. Now he's a teenager and has completely forgotten everything. Even that his family is dead.

 

I decided that since there's nothing I could do for Derek, I might as well go take a shower. Derek has always been very attractive. Sexy even. As a teenager, Derek is still extremely hot. He's got those big innocent hazel eyes that look at you so full of emotion. How could Kate go and destroy that innocent boy? Yes his eyes were already blue because of Paige, but he was still so innocent. She's a monster for burning the Hale family.  
  


 _"Kate... Kate... Kate..."_  I turned around in the shower to see where the whisper was coming from.  _"Kate... Derek... Derek... Kate..."_  
  


"Who's there?!" I yelled  
  


_"Kate... Derek... Kate... Derek..."_   
  


I quickly got out of the shower and ran into my room. Grabbing my phone, I dialed Scotts number and put it on speaker phone. I grabbed some cloths and cursed when I got Scott's voicemail. I dialed Kira's number next hoping she'd be with Scott. Again I got voicemail. I groaned in frustration. Next I dialed Stile's. On the third ring he answered.  
  


"Lydia? Whats going on?" He immediately asked.  
  


"Stiles? I can't get a hold of Scott or Kira."  
  


"I can't get a hold of Malia either."  
  


"There's something happening with Derek and Kate." I said in a rush.  
  


"Yeah I know. They just left Scott's through the window. Do you have any idea where they are going?"  
  


I paused for a second and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and listened to the whispers. "The school. Stiles! They're headed to the school."  
  


"I'm going to pick you up in a minute. Ok Lydia?"  
  


"Yes. Just hurry Stiles. Hurry."  
  


I hung up the phone and ran downstairs. My foot was tapping anxiously by the time Stiles pulled up in front of my house. I ran down to the jeep and told him to go as soon as my butt was on the seat. He drove like a maniac to get us to the school and parked us in the back. I didn't think as I ran. I found Scott, Kira, and Malia at the top of the stairs. They were all looking down the hall. There stood Derek Hale. The adult Derek Hale. Ours eyes met. There was something different. Somethings wrong.  
  


I could feel Stiles move from behind me to go to Malia. The whispers started saying something new.  _"School... Sign... Vault... Sign... School..."_  Over and over again. Listening to them I ran down to the front of the school. The Beacon Hills High School sign was moved. Derek, who apparently decided to follow me, mumbled "The vault!" He took off towards the sign. I didn't dare move. From where I was I could hear Peter's roar of anger. Stiles came up behind me and grabbed my hand. He led me into the vault. Peter was staring at an opened and empty security security vault at the back of the room.  
  


"How much did they get?" Derek finally asked, breaking the silence.  
  


"17.5" Peter voice was barely above a hoarse whisper.  
  


"17.5 thousand? That's not that bad now is it?" Stiles said trying to break the tension.  
  


"It's more like 17.5 million." The silence that surrounded us was deafening.  
  
  
  
  
  


***  
  


The pack had started talking to me a bit more since we got Derek back. I still didn't sit by them during lunch, but in class one of them would usually sit by me. In algebra, I could see Malia was still struggling to catch up to the rest of us. It was my easiest subject and I've already been giving the rest of the pack a copy of my notes explaining how to do everything step by step, so I decided I would start writing them for her as well. We were both called up to the front at the beginning of class to work through the warm up problems. I finished my problem and looked over at hers. She was stuck and couldn't figure out what x equals. Checking that the teacher wasn't looking, I quickly did the problem in my head.  
  


"X equals 25." I told her quietly.  
  


"What?" Malia turned to me in confusion.  
  


"The problem. X equals 25."  
  


I put the chalk down and walked back to my seat. I didn't bother paying attention throughout the rest of class. I had 134.8% in the class anyway. Instead I wrote down the notes for Malia. My thoughts had drifted to Allison again. She was the only one in the pack I never had to write notes for. She was so smart. We used to always study together. By that I mean we'd study for like twenty minutes before we'd start talking about boys. About a week before she died, she had told me she was seeing Isaac. She was so happy with him and that she'd finally moved on from Scott. Don't get me wrong, she still loved him. She always would since he was her first love. I had told her how I still liked Aiden, but I didn't think I could be with him since he was a bad guy. He helped kill Boyd. She told me to follow my heart. Very Mulan of her.  
  


The bell rang, signaling the end of class. I quickly packed up, keeping the notebook for Malia out, and caught up to her in the hallway. "Malia!" She turned around and waited for me. "I wrote you some notes since I know you've been struggling in math." I said as I handed her the notebook.  
  


"Thanks Lydia. You didn't have to do that." She said with a grateful smile.  
  


"It's alright. I can imagine getting thrown into high school after being in the woods and not needing things like math and english."  
  


"Definitely didn't need math in the woods. That's for sure. Hey you should eat lunch with us today." My heart skipped a beat when she offered. I hadn't eaten lunch with the pack since Allison and Aiden died.  
  


"Oh I don't want to be a bother." I said remembering there's only four seats at the table anyway.  
  


"It's only going to be Kira and me at the table today, so please?" Malia gave me the puppy dog eyes and pouty lips with the begging hand gestures.  
  


"Where are Scott and Stiles?" I couldn't believe those two would be gone for a supernatural and Kira and Malia are in class like nothing happened.  
  


"Stiles is freaking out about some family getting killed except for the youngest son, so he's at the station snooping. And Scott wolfed-out on some freshman during practice today. Accidentally hurt the suckers leg."  
  


"You don't seem to feel bad for the kid at all." I stated. We had reached the lunch line at this point. Looking at the food, I realized I had stopped eating lunch in the last two months. Nothing seemed appetizing so I just grabbed an apple and a water. "What did the kid do to cause Scott to wolf-out? That's not like him."  
  


"Scott and Stiles thought he might be some werechetah or something and that he was using his supernatural abilities to be that good. Plus he was doing way better than Scott. Almost could've gotten captain from Scott." Malia told me as we walked over to the table where Kira was already waiting.  
  


"Wow. So what exactly happened to hurt the kids leg?" I asked as I sat down. I gave Kira a quick smile.  
  


"Scott and Stiles were defense and double-teamed Liam. Liam got past Stiles and Scott checked into him so hard that Liam flipped over Scott and hurt his leg." Kira filled me in, giving me a bit more detail than Malia would've.  
  


"So did you figure that thing out with Scott before he took Liam to the hospital?" Malia asked a blushing Kira.  
  


"Umm...Yeah. He apologized about this morning and told me to forget it. Then he walked away, but he came back and said that no he didn't feel bad about it and he kissed me before leaving." She told us quickly. I didn't need super hearing to know her pulse was racing, just thinking about it.  
  


"Finally!" Malia and I said at the same time. We laughed and high fived.  
  


I noticed a lacrosse stick and helmet with Kira's stuff and it wasn't Scott's. "Kira? Anything else lacrosse related you wanted to share with the table?" I asked her.  
  


"I might be on the team now." She coughed.  
  


"Congratulations! sounds like a great day for you!"  
  


"Not really. I've been trying to tell Scott all day, but I might as well tell you guys right now. My parents are moving me back to New York." Kira told us while looking down at the table.  
  


"They can't do that!" Was Malia's initial reaction.  
  


"I'm so sorry Kira! Tell us if there's anything we can do to help."I felt so bad for her. She finally fits in and is a part of the pack.  
  


"Thanks again Lydia. For the notes. They should help when I'm studying with Stiles tonight." Malia smiled as she tried to shift the topic away from Kira.  
  
  
  


***  
  
  
  


That evening I was sitting up in my room thinking about Derek. I hadn't seen him since the night Kate used him to get into his family vault. Something about him was still wrong when I saw him in that hallway. I have no clue as to what it was, but there was something. I swear there was. Deciding in needed to talk to him, I got into my car and started driving. I meant to drive to his loft, but somehow I ended up in the parking lot behind the hospital. I was about to leave when I noticed his SUV a few spaces down. I quickly got out of my car and walked to his. I leaned against the door and waited for him. A few minutes had passed before he walked up to his car.  
  


"What do you want Lydia?" His voice was snappy like it always is.  
  


"I'm worried about you." I told him honestly.  
  


"Why? I'm back and I'm fine." Derek was brushing me off and ignoring me and I knew it.  
  


"You're not fine." I responded strongly.  
  


"Oh really? And what exactly is wrong with me?" Now he was being straight up sarcastic.  
  


"I'm not sure yet, but it's nothing good." He rolled his eyes. "Derek, please listen to me! Somethings really wrong! I can feel it! Like I feel it when someone's about to die! Don't ignore me! Please!" I was almost yelling at him.  
  


"Get out of my way Lydia. I have real problems to deal with. I don't have time for some pathetic and useless girl who has a bad feeling. Goodbye." With that Derek took off.   
  


I stood there in shock for s little bit longer. Well there was nothing more I could say to the empty parking spot next to me. Slowly walking to my car I wondered what I had done so that even Derek was ignoring my Banshee related feelings. Sure he obviously wasn't about to die, but there was definitely something wrong with him.  
  


I was sitting in my car on the side of the road when my phone rang. "Hello?" I answered.  
  


 _"What the hell is wrong with you?!"_  I was confused to hear Stiles yell that at me.  
  


"What are you talking about?"  
  


_"The so called math notes you gave Malia? Does that ring a bell?"_   
  


"Yeah I gave her a set of my notes because I saw she was struggling. I just wanted to help." I told him honestly. Confusion filled my brain as I tried to figure out why it made him so angry that I tried to help her.  
  


 _"This is what you call help? Seriously? The fuck is wrong with you? You even admit you saw her struggling and than you go and make her feel even more stupid by giving her a notebook full of something that isn't even math. Wow that's so damn helpful!"_  Stiles kept yelling at me.  
  


"Stiles- What ar- I didn't give her- I swear I'd nev-" He never let me get a word in.  
  


 _"Stay the fucking hell away from Malia. We don't need you fucking everything up even more than it already is. It should've been you that died. Not Allison!"_  With that, he hung up.  
  


I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. There's no way sweet, loving Stiles just said that to me. I felt the tears running down my face and did nothing to stop them. I would never do that to Malia. I mean, yes I don't like the fact that she's swooped in and basically stolen my place in the pack, but I know that wasn't her intention and she's been nice to me, so I'd never do something like that to her. Deciding the best thing to do would be to figure out what I gave Malia instead of math notes, so I drove over to her house.  
  


"Lydia?" She asked as she opened the door. Her expression turned a bit angry.  
  


"Look, Malia. I don't know what I gave you if it wasn't math notes. That's why I'm here. I want to know what it is." I explained to her quickly.  
  


She looked at me skeptically. "Well you can't. I left it in Stiles room."  
  


"Well then, would you like to come with me? I swear I meant to give you math notes. I don't know what happened so that's not what was on the paper."  
  


"I believe you. Because your heart beat was steady." She finally said.  
  


I nodded and led her down to my car. We drove in silence to the Stilinski residence. I parked on the street and ran up to the door. It had been so common place for the pack to walk into each others houses, that I skipped knocking or ringing the doorbell. Sherif Stilinski stuck his head out the kitchen door when he heard us come in.  
  


"Lydia! It's so good to see you again. I haven't seen you in a couple months. Come here hun!" He said as he pulled me into a hug. "Stiles is over at Scotts right now, but go ahead and head up to his room if you'd like."  
  


"Thanks Sherif!" I said as I stepped back. I know for myself especially, but also for the rest of the pack, Sherif Stilinski is basically our dad.  
  


Malia and I made our way up to Stiles's room. After a bit of looking I found the notebook. It looked like he had thrown it against the wall and it landed partially behind his desk. "I found it." I said as I gently picked it up. It made my heart ache a bit more knowing Stiles had gotten so angry at me that he would throw my notebook like that. Some of the pages had been torn when it was flung and fell, but I could still read everything.   
  


"Stiles is right. This isn't math." I told Malia after having looked through it.  
  


"If it's not math, what is it?" She asked from his bed.  
  


"I'm not sure yet." A silence fell between us. I found it a bit odd that Stiles would be with Scott if he was with Malia earlier. "Do you know why Stiles is with Scott?"  
  


"Scott called him and said that he needed Stiles help. That it was an emergency. Something about what happened at the hospital, the family that was killed, and that Liam kid from lacrosse."  
  


My head snapped up when she mentioned the hospital. "What happened at the hospital?"  
  


"Remember how Scott wolfed-out on that Liam during tryouts? Well he was at the hospital making sure that he'd be okay when some guy went all supernatural cannibal crazy and started eating people. Mama McCall told Scott to go stop him, but when they were fighting, some new dude without a mouth killed the cannibal with an axe."  
  


I starred at Malia wide eyed. The Sherif probably knew it was something supernatural since Scott was involved. Maybe he had called Derek for his opinion on what happened. Looking back down at the notebook I finally realized what it was.

"It's a cipher code!" I exclaimed.  
  


"It's a what?" Malia asked as she walked over to me.  
  


I turned around and grabbed Stiles's laptop. I typed in the code quickly and pressed enter. At the bottom there ways a spot that said Keyword. Behind me Malia gasped. I sighed since I had no clue as to what the key to solve the cipher was. I leaned back in the chair and thought about what it might be. I eventually gave up and emailed myself a copy of the link to the cipher page.  
  


"I should probably go. Do you want to stay?" Stiles cruel words and harsh tone crossed my mind.  
  


"Why are you going? We need to show this to Stiles. And yes I'm going to stay." She said in confusion.  
  


"Well then you can tell him."  
  


"Tell who what?" I heard that same harsh tone from behind me. "What are you doing here?" Stiles asked as I turned towards him.  
  


"I was just leaving. Malia can explain." I said as I made my way around him.  
  


"Are you going to sit with us at lunch tomorrow?" Malia called out.  
  


"No. I think I'll just go back to where I've been eating recently." My eyes connected with Stiles again. "I'll see you later Malia." I said as I walked out.  
  


By the time I had made it back home, the numbing feeling of loneliness had settled in once again. I had been told twice in the last few hours that I was useless to the pack. Stiles words continued to replay in my head. I wasn't even aware I had somehow made it back inside and into my shower until I looked down and saw my once perfect and unblemished skin was covered in blood yet again. I sunk down to the floor of the show and curled up. My voice coming out as a broken whisper.  
  


_"You're right Stiles..._

_I should be the one dead..._

_Not Allison..._

_At least Allison was useful..._

_She could help you guys..._

_Unlike me..._

_I'm useless..._

_I'm Nothing..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If any of you EVER need to talk, message me or DM me on twitter. I've gone through depression and know what it's like. Everyday is a new uphill battle. I get it. Believe me, it WILL get BETTER! Lots of Love!!


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just a reminder, I'm on vacation right now and haven't actually seen the more recent episodes. I've seen bits and pieces on YouTube, but don't know the whole story. I also changed some of the details for the story. Enjoy!

I woke up screaming from the dream I just had. It was still before the sun had began it's climb into the sky. Rolling over, I glanced at my clock and saw that it was only 4:37am. School sounded like a horrible idea, but I knew it would be worse staying home with nothing to do. Didn't matter either way, I still had roughly three and a half hours before I had to leave for school. Getting out of bed I decided to go take a shower to rise away my dreams from the night. My hip stung as the water sprayed across the fresh cuts I made last night. The shower was quick. I got out and walked to my closet. 

My normal cute and girly cloths stared back at me tauntingly. I grabbed the first dress I saw and put it on. When I caught my reflection in the mirror all my movements halted. The girl looking about at me wasn't Lydia Martin. This girl was skinny, the dress that used to hug my every curve, hung loose like a garbage bag. My strawberry blonde hair that other girls used to envy was now dull and lifeless. Green eyes that were once full of life and laughter were now just a broken window to my soul.

Taking off the dress, I walked over to my dresser and sifted through until I found an old pair of jean shorts. I pulled them out along with a plain white T-shirt. I slipped them on and looked around. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of Aiden's flannels hanging in my closet. I felt that hole in my heart ache as I looked at it. The longing for him to be here and to hold me was overwhelming. Picking it up gently, I rubbed my fingers against the soft material. I didn't hesitate when I slipped it on. After tucking the white shirt into the tops of my jeans I walked over to the vanity. I decided I would wear my hair like I did the first time Stiles got to play in the lacrosse game. The one where Gerard took him after and beat him up. I also did my makeup very simple and natural like that day as well.

I sighed when I saw there was still two hours until school. My eyes landed on the easel in the corner of my room. I walked over and sat down. I was working on a pastel of all the people I'd lost since all of this crazy supernatural stuff went down. 

Jackson was in the top left corner. it was a profile of his face as he looked into the distance. I had included his shoulders so the top of his lacrosse uniform could be seen. He might have acted like a complete ass most of the time, but he was still pretty amazing. He had always worked hard in an attempt to make his birth parents proud of him.That's why lacrosse was always so important to him. He was proud of himself when he played. It was when I'd see his walls come down. He was always so focused on the game and winning. He'd get this stoic look when he was calling plays from the sidelines with his helmet off. That's the look I always remember when I think of him.

Next was Aiden. He was in the top right corner. His face was looking straight back at me. His eyes were squinted and he was smiling like when he laughed. That was my favorite side of Aiden. The one where he seemed most like a carefree and loving teenaged boy. I think Ethan and I are the only ones who knew that side of Aiden. Everybody else just saw him as Ethan's twin with anger issues. The pack also only saw him as Ducalian's minions. None of them saw the sweet teenager. He always cheered me up when something happened. It wasn't just sex with him. There was something more. But after the twins helped kill Boyd, we drifted. I started seeing what everyone else wanted me to see. Then Aiden tried so hard to prove, not only to Scott, but to me that he was a good guy. He died trying to prove it. Thats why I'll always remember the sweet boy who used to laugh when we were together.

In the center was Allison. Her face was larger than the other two. I did it like that because she was my best friend and was more important. No I didn't know her as long as Jackson, but she was there way more than he ever was. She was always so incredibly strong. Allison was thrown into the world of the supernatural by her crazy aunt. Then she watched her aunt die. At the same time she found out her boyfriend was a werewolf. The very thing her family has always been trained to hunt and kill. Not that much later, her mom died and her grandfather used it to manipulate Allison to do whatever he wanted. Then her father was kidnapped by the Darch. She suffered hallucinations for weeks after that. Not once did Allison ever break. Not even when she was dying in Scott's arms. She was always so strong. And even when it seemed she didn't have enough strength to stand on her own, she still went out of her way to make sure I was still standing. She gave me strength, hope, and love. That's why she's in the center. Her expression was fierce. Just like it was whenever she was about to go fight. Determined and strong.

I was only partially done with the pastels on Allison. I picked up the black and started on her hair once again. Time flew by as I continued to work. I was wiping the pastels off my hands when I was the clock. I had about ten minutes until first period would start. I grabbed my back pack and ran out to my car.

I slid into a seat at the back of the classroom when the bell rang, signaling the beginning of class. My gaze flitted around the room until it finally fell onto my normal seat. It was empty. Stiles was sitting next to it like he always has, but his attention was focused on the seat of the other side of him. Malia. Of course she was all he'd focused on. She said something that caused him to turn and look at my normal seat. I let my head fall onto my arms on the table infront of me, hiding my face before Stiles had a chance to see me. I forgot that Stiles was in most of my classes. I regretted not skipping school when I had the chance.When the bell rang, I was out of the room before anyone else was packed up. 

The rest of the day was pretty much the same thing. The bell for lunch rang, saving me from algebra. Once again I was out the door before anyone else. I completely skipped over going into the lunchroom for food since it wouldn't be eaten anyway. The deserted lacrosse field welcomed me with open arms. As I climbed the bleachers, I pulled Aiden's flannel closer to my shaking form. When I was half way up the bleachers, I put my bag down. Laying down so my head was resting on the bag. I closed my eyes hoping to take a much needed nap. 

It was less than five minutes later that I could feel people looking at me. I didn't give enough fucks to see who it was or to tell them to bugger off. Someone was directly in front of me. They brushed some hair off my neck and shoulder gently.  _"Should we really wake her up? Can't we talk to her later?"_  They called down to the others. I knew that voice.  _"We need to talk to her now, Kira. We need to use her lake house."_  Now I knew that was Scott. Kira gently shook my shoulder.

"Why do you need my lake house?" I asked without opening my eyes. I knew Scott heard what I said.

"We need it to confront Liam about becoming a werewolf. It's a full moon tonight and he's going to turn for the first time tonight. And your lake house is far away from other people." Scott's answer was firm. More like he was telling me they were going to use it rather than asking if they could.

"What time?"

"If we could be there around 7:30 that would be good."

I didn't respond. "Thank you." Kira said quietly before she and the others left. The fact that they were using me for the lake house was obvious. I sat up once I knew that they had left. School was a joke to me at this point. My mind was made up that I was going to go up to my lake house now instead of later.

It's been a few months since the last time anyone had been to the lake house. There was a fine layer of dust on everything when I walked in. Leaving the lights off, I made my way to the cupboard with the cleaning supplies. I grabbed the swifter duster. Within a few hours, everything had been cleaned. There was about half an hour to an hour until the rest of the pack would show. I grabbed a book and settled on the couch.

A car rolled up an hour later. Another followed shortly. I put my book down and met them at the door. Scott was the first to walk in, then Malia, and finally Stiles. Stiles was carrying a bag that jingled and clanked as he walk. My guess is it was filled with chains for the full moon tonight. The three of them walked to the coffee table in the middle of the room. Stiles put down the bag and they all turned and looked at me.

"Thank you for doing this. For helping us." Scott said.

"Mhmm." I really didn't want to be around them more than I needed to be.

"Do you have somewhere we can chain Liam up?" Scott was always so to the point.

"And a place for Malia. She hasn't quite got that figured out yet." Stiles added.

After a minute of thinking I knew where they could go. "Malia can use the basement. There's only the one door and it's metal. Liam can use the boat house. It's pretty open and it's got some pretty sturdy support beams you can chain him to."

"Thank you again." Scott smiled at me. I nodded and looked away from the three of them. They were just a reminder that I was no longer in the pack. "So...Kira should be here soon with Liam." He said trying to break the awkward silence.

Malia walked over to me and took my hand before leading me into the kitchen. She stopped and looked at me. "You weren't in school after lunch." She was blunt as always.

"Didn't sleep well last night so I came up early and took a nap." I forgot she could listen to my heart beat and tell I was lying.

"Why are you lying?"

"It's doesn't matter. I'm fine. I just didn't want to be in school so I left." I said quickly before rushing back into the living room.

Scott and Stiles didn't get a chance to say anything because Kira and Liam pulled up. The four of us stood in a line and waited for Liam to walk in. We told him what supernatural creature we were. Once we all did, he refused to believe any of it. I zoned out as Scott talked to Liam. Liam collapsed to the floor. Through the windows we saw multiple headlights pull up in the driveway. Someone asked Liam who he told about this.

_"Everyone! You said it was a party!"_

Scott and Kira grabbed Liam and took him out to the boat house. Malia started to change so Stiles grabbed the bag and started to leave.

"Wait!" I exclaimed. Stiles and Malia paused in the door to the kitchen. "What am I supposed to do with the  _entire_  freshman class that's expecting a party!"

"Lydia! Who throws the best parties?" Stiles asked.

"Me. Obviously." I retorted.

"So throw a party!" Stiles snapped.

He led Malia down to the basement leaving me to deal with the freshman. I went and opened the door. When they asked if the party was here, I stepped aside and let them flood the lake house. Not much later I could't stand the music, so I went down the steps towards the basement. I was going to sit with Stiles because I'd much rather deal with him than everybody else. I paused outside the door when I heard Stiles responding to Malia yelling at him to run.

_"Honestly, I'd rather be down here with you than go upstairs and have to deal with a pissed of Lydia."_

I gasped and stepped away from the doors. Stiles would rather be with a were coyote who might accidentally rip him to shreds than be around me. I quickly made my way back into the kitchen and ran into a guy with a keg. I didn't want to deal with that when I saw some guy take two wine glasses up the stairs. I followed him up and all the way into my grandma's white room. I yelled at the guy and grabbed the two glasses of wine. As I turned, the glasses went flying out of my hand. The once perfectly white carpet was now had a red stain in the middle. I sank down to the floor looking at it desperately, wishing it would disappear. For the first time in months I covered my ears and just screamed. The kid ran out and shut the door. All the noise stopped as soon as the door shut. I looked up at it. I walked over to the door and opened it again. The noise was back full force. I closed the door and it stopped. I stepped away from it in confusion.

 _"Allison... Allison... Allison... Allison..._ _Allison... Allison... Allison!_ _"_ My eyes slowly looked at the wall on my right. The wall started shifting and moving. There were featureless faces screaming as they tried to get free of the wall. They were all screaming the same thing.

_"ALLISON!"_

***

"Lydia?" I could faintly hear Kira's voice. I was still looking at the wall, but the faces had long since disappeared. "Lydia!"

"I know the key." My voice was hoarse as I spoke.

"What?"

I got up and walked over to the computer. The cipher key was loaded within a minute. The Keyword box popped up at the end. I very slowly typed it in.

ALLISON

The name of my best friend was the key to deciphering the code. As it was being decoded, names started to appear with numbers behind them.

"What is it?" Kira whispered. "Some sort of list?"

"It's a deadpool." I told her stoically. "And we're all on it."

My name was in the middle. Scott's was beneath mine. Kira's was a little further down. I scrolled a bit to see if Malia was on it too. Instead of finding Malia's name, I found two more Keyword boxes. I sighed and leaned back in the chair.

"Isn't the key ALLISON?" Kira asked naïvely.

"No. If it was the same, it would already be decoded. It's something completely different." I felt defeated. "And I have no idea what it is."


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, I’m going to be going between present and past tense. I know it can get annoying to read, but it just makes writing it so much easier.

I felt so useless. There was a deadpool, and people I used to call friends are on it. I’m on it. I was able to figure out the last keyword. Why can’t I get the other two?! I’m doing the same thing as last time, but nothing is working! The record player is spinning, but nothing is happening. I keep putting the needle down. It has to work! My hands started shaking as I looked blankly at the wall. I felt like I was loosing my mind. I was letting them down. I can’t figure it out.

 

“Lydia? Lydia, enough.” Malia said quietly. “You’ve been at it all weekend. It’s not working.”

 

Kira and Malia helped my stand up and led me out of the room, then out of the lake house. They drove me home and made sure I got into my room alright. It was easy to let myself believe they were my friends who actually cared, but they only cared about finding out the rest of the deadpool list. I laid on my bed and closed my eyes. I felt like I was loosing my mind. This banshee crap was going to make me insane. Some day I’d end up like Meredith over at Echin house. I still remember when Stiles told me he wouldn’t let that happen. I wonder if he’d still say that…

 

I rolled off my bed and walked over to my pastels. I had finally finished Allison. She looked exactly how I remembered her. It made my throat tighten and my eyes stung with unshed tears. She would know what to do. She always did. Well, except when it came to Scott. Then she’d be an idiot. Like the time we followed the bus to the cross country meet. It turned out it was a good thing, but she did silly things like that all the time. I missed that about her.

 

Looking at the bottom of the canvas, there was still enough open space to add in two or three more faces. I knew I should add Isaac. He left with Mr. Argent shortly after Allison’s death because staying here would’ve reminded him of her. He might have been a sarcastic, pessimistic pain in the ass, but he was still part of the pack. I know Scott and Derek miss him, even if they don’t admit it. I think we all do.

 

I considered added myself. I feel like I’ve lost myself since all this craziness started. I’m definitely not the same girl I was two years ago. It’s not all about boys at this point. All I really care about is staying sane, protecting my old friends, and cracking this damn deadpool. I barely put the time in to look nice unlike back when I’d get up two hours early just to make sure my makeup, hair, and cloths were all perfect. Now it’s all simple. I still look cute, but just not as much of an effort. That’s pretty much how everything in my life is at this point.

 

The last person I was wanting to add is Stiles. I have completely lost him. And the worst part is, I see him almost everyday. It’s like he died too, but worse. Everything he used to do for me, he stopped doing. I have no idea what I need to do to get him back. It’s not even like I mind him being with Malia, but it’s like he thinks in order to be with her, he has to have nothing to do with me. I just want my friend back. The guy who was my partner in crime and that helped me solve things. But he’s gone, and a new cold person is wearing his face and speaking his voice. And I’m alone. Being heartbroken hurts, but being alone is worse.

 

I realized as I had been thinking. I had lightly sketched in our three faces. Mine was in the lower left corner. It’s smaller than the others. It’s the superficial Lydia from two years ago. Wavy strawberry blonde hair, green eyes sparkling with life, rosy cheeks, and a cute top. Next was Isaac. His is in the lower right corner. Curly blondish hair, sparkling blue eyes, sarcastic smile like always, exactly like the last time I saw him before Allison died. In the center is Stiles. His was the largest. It was still smaller than Allison’s, but it was easily the second biggest on the canvas. His warm golden eyes looked up at me. His expression is one of concern, like it used to be when anything banshee related happened. It was a look I really missed seeing on him. I never thought I’d say that, but it really is.

 

I had pastels all over myself by the time I was done. I needed to take a shower. I walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I turned and faced myself in the mirror. Over the last two and a halfish months I’ve come to dislike the girl looking back. Unlike the rest of the pack, I don’t have claws, glowing eyes, or super senses. I just have voices in my head. I can’t even defend myself if something or someone comes after me. So no, I don’t like the girl looking back. I turn around to get in the shower since I saw some steam. By the time I stepped in, the water was nice and hot. It felt like some of the stress was washing away. That is, until I realized I’d have to spend tomorrow trying to get the second keyword for the deadpool.

 

 

*        *        *

 

 

Malia and I were sitting in the art room first period the next day. I had to figure out this keyword. I was sitting in front of a blank paper on one of the easels. I took a couple deep breaths but could feel Malia hovering. I tried my best to ignore her, but she shifted closer to me.

 

“Please stop hovering.” I said quickly.

“I’m not hovering. I’m waiting.” Malia responded as if there was a difference. “Do something. Write something. We need to know who else is on the list.

 

“You mean you need to know if your on the list.” I retorted getting irate with her.

 

“If someones coming to take my head off, than yeah, I’d like to know.” She replied sassily.

 

She slowly leaned forward, almost had her chin resting on my shoulder, as I lifted the pencil up again. “Can you please just, sit down.” I asked in annoyance. “You’re making me nervous.”

 

“Sorry.” Malia mumbled as she sat down at the table next to me. I closed my eyes and lifted my pencil to the paper. I was concentrating as hard as I possibly could. As I started to do something Malia interrupted me again. “Lydia.”

 

“What?” She didn’t respond. “Oh my god. What?” I snapped.

 

“Maybe we need help. From another banshee.” She finally answered.

 

“Meredith.” I filled in where she was going with that.

 

We got up and left the art room. I called Eichen House to find out if there was anyway we could visit Meredith. They told me we couldn’t without permission from one of Merediths relatives. I met up with Malia at the top of the stairs and we walked down together.

 

“Echin House said we can’t visit Meredith without permission from one of her relatives.” I said, cluing Malia in on our dilemma.

 

“That’s not going to be easy. Since her whole family is dead.” Malia sighed

 

“Perfect.” I said sarcastically.

 

“Maybe we could go back to the art room or the music room.” She suggested in a half-assed tone.

 

“I’m not plucking piano strings for two hours, waiting for supernatural inspiration.” I said flat out.

 

“Fine. What else do banshee’s do?”

 

“You think I know?” I was so frustrated with her. Actually the entire pack. Ever since I got dragged into the supernatural world, they keep coming to me and expecting me to have some sort of epiphany that solves all there problems, when in reality, I’m trying not to loose my friggin mind. So I clued Malia in. “I can’t just turn this on. I’m not like you guys. I don’t have claws or glowing eyes or super senses. I just have _voices_ in my head.” I kept staring at her as she quickly looked to see if anyone was listening in on our conversation.

 

I looked down before walking away. I can’t take much more than this. I’m always on my own now, trying to make sense of everything. Stiles used to be my anchor. He kept me sane when nothing made sense. But now he’s cut the chain and I’m drifting further and further down the river of insanity. It feels like nothing could pull me back. And right now, I don’t know if there’s even a reason for me to fight that current and stay sane. Maybe I should just join Meredith in the nut house. _But right now I can’t._ I remind myself. The pack needs me. Actually it’s more than just them. Every supernatural creature on that list needs me to figure out who the benefactor is so we can stop them. I just don’t know if I can do it.

 

I kept walking until I was at the lacrosse field. This seems to be the place I go to get away from everything. It’s like I’m drawn here. It’s strange though. I should hate the field after what Peter did to me out there. This is where I was thrown into the world of the supernatural. Maybe that’s why I’m drawn here. It’s where everything started for me.

 

 

*        *        *

 

When Sheriff Stilinski called I went and found Malia and drove us to the station. Thankfully she didn’t say anything on the ride over. When we pulled up and walked in I could feel myself getting nervous. Sheriff Stilinski met us at the front desk and walked us back to his office.

 

As we were walking he turned to us and said, “I’m aware this is probably about the deadpool, but I can’t let her leave the station. In a minute I’m going to have to call Echin House and let them know she’s here.”

 

I knew it probably wouldn’t work but I had to try. “Give us an hour.”

 

“You got fifteen minutes.” The look on Sheriff Stilinski’s face reminded me of Stiles.

 

I didn’t let my emotions show on my face as I walked into the Sheriffs office. Sheriff Stilinski stopped and had a quiet conversation with Deputy Parrish. I was waiting for Sheriff Stilinski to send Parrish away so I was surprised when he followed the sheriff in. I quickly looked down at my feet to get control over my emotions again.

Sheriff Stilinski sighed deeply and told me, “Ask what you need to ask.”

 

With a small fake smile on my face, I reached my phone out to Meredith. She threw me a confused smile. It confused me when she didn’t do anything with it.

 

“Meredith? Aren’t you going to answer it?” I voiced my confusion.

 

She stood up a leaned close to me. “It’s not ringing.” She whispered in my ear before sitting back down.

 

I let out a frustrated sigh as I tilted my head and felt my jaw lock. I closed my eyes and tried to find a logical solution to get Meredith to help us. She obviously wanted to. Why else would she escape Echin House and walk all the way to the police station and ask for me? Was she trying to make me go insane as well?! I squatted down in front of Meredith and did my best to look friendly.

 

“Meredith.” I waited till she looked at me before continuing. “You came here to help us, remember?

 

She gave me this weird, almost knowing, look with a smile before telling me, “You called me.”

 

I starred at her for a beat. “What do you mean I called you?”

 

“I heard you.” She whispered.

 

She nodded at me. I just sat there starring at her trying to figure out what was going on. Nothing made any sense. I could feel my frustration building. Meredith came to help but isn’t helping. God! I don’t know what to do! I’m not the one who’s good at working with banshees. That’s Stiles! Maybe calling Stiles and getting him to help would be the best idea.

 

Just as I was about to get up to call Stiles, Deputy Parrish stepped in. “Meredith, can I ask you a question?” he waited for her nod before continuing. “When you need help, when you need to find something, is there someone you reach out to?” With a quick glance to me he finished with, “Maybe someone you call?”

 

Meredith got really quite. “It depends. Different people for different things.”

“So maybe there’s a number that can help us. A number we can call.” I couldn’t help but look at Deputy Parrish in surprise. He was doing so well with getting through to Meredith. Just like Stiles was able to do with me.

 

“Yes.” Meredith grunted out.

 

“Would you be okay telling us?” Deputy Parrish asked.

 

“Yes.” I took my phone back from Meredith so I could type it out. “It’s 2…4…3…6…”

 

I looked up waiting for her to continue. She was smiling up at the others. “Mer? We need a few more numbers.” Malia’s usually annoying unsubtle tactics were much appreciated.

 

“No.” I closed my eyes trying to control my frustration. “That’s the number.”

 

“Phone numbers are ten digits.” Malia continued.

 

“That’s the number.”

 

“Meredith!” She got this frightened look, but I continued anyway. “Phone numbers always have ten digits.

 

“That’s the number!”

 

“Meredith!” I knew my frustration was showing.

 

“Lydia” Sheriff Stilinski gently said as he stood me up. I balled up my fists. “I think that’s the best we’re going to get.” His face and tone were both sympathetic, but I didn’t want sympathy. I wanted answers.

 

“No.” I looked back up at sheriff Stilinski. “There has to be more.” I turned back on Meredith. “What’s the rest of it Meredith? Hm? JUST CONCENTRATE!” I shouted at her.

 

I could see the tears forming in her eyes. Her voice was shaking as she spoke.

 “But that’s that’s that’s the number.”

 

“Concentrate!”

 

She looked up at me with these big tear filled eyes. I could feel my heart breaking but wasn’t going to give up. “That’s that’s the number. That’s the number.”

 

I turned and took a few steps away from her. Sheriff Stilinski took a step towards her. “That’s okay sweetheart.” He said in a soothing tone.

 

As soon as he touched her she jerked away from him shouting, “THAT’S THE NUMBER!!”

 

Sheriff Stilinski and Deputy Parrish eventually calmed Meredith down and took her out of the office. All the emotions swirling around inside me were starting to give me a headache. I felt bad about being so harsh with Meredith, but the number she gave us doesn’t make sense. There has to be more to it. Maybe I should ask Stiles to talk to Meredith. He’s the only one with real experience when dealing with banshees, even though I’m the actual banshee. Maybe he could get the cipher key. Somehow I had to find a way to get the next cipher key. More of my friends could still be on it.

 

I was sitting down at the desk rubbing my temples to try and ward off the headache for a bit. I knew Malia was pacing the length of the office, but couldn’t be bothered to ask her to stop. She paused by the desk and grabbed the paper that had the numbers written on it. She crumpled the paper before moving to throw it away. Malia halted and was looking at something. I still hadn’t opened my eyes yet, not wanting to deal with reality.

 

“Lydia!” Her tone of voice caused me to raise a brow. “What if it’s like aalgebra?”

 

“What do you mean?” I questioned, finally looking at her.

 

She turned the desk phone around so I could see the keypad. “What if the numbers are actually letters.”

 

I scrambled for a piece of paper. I wrote out all the letters from the corresponding numbers. It took me a minute before I figured out the cipher key. When I did, I could feel my stomach drop. “Oh god.” I whispered. Noting Malia’s confused look, I quickly crossed off the incorrect letters. A ~~B C~~ ~~G~~ ~~H~~ I D E ~~F~~ ~~M~~ N ~~O~~ I snatched my laptop and quickly typed in ADIEN. A part of me was hoping that his name wasn’t the next key. While it would be a set back, I wouldn’t start thinking about him again. I looked up at Malia before hitting enter. Within seconds it was decoding and names were showing up one after another.

 

I kept rereading the list over and over again. I couldn’t believe the name I was reading on the bottom. There’s no way he’s a werewolf. Or anything supernatural for that matter. Scott would’ve noticed. But then why was he on the list?

 

I heard the door open behind me and slammed my laptop shut before quickly turning around. Deputy Parrish was standing in the doorway with a curious look. “Sorry. I was just seeing if you guys were okay.” I rolled my eyes with a silent sigh as he spoke. I looked back at him and saw his expression changed to concerned. “Do you need a ride home?”

 

“Umm.” I glanced quickly at Malia. “No, we’ll be fine.”

 

Deputy Parrish nodded with a disappointed smile before closing the door and walking away. Once I was sure he wasn’t coming back, I opened my laptop again. My eyes immediately went back to the last name. JORDAN PARRISH 5 starred right back at me. The confusion took over me once again.


	7. Chapter Six

Everything started going down to shit after I broke the second cipher key. The police station was a flurry of activity. Sheriff Stilinski found Malia and I and told us Scott had been attacked at the school. He offered us a ride home, but I declined when I saw the look of urgency in his eyes. No doubt he was worried about Stiles and wanted to make sure he was alright.

           

After I dropped Malia off at her house I drove around for a while. I wasn’t ready to go back home, but I had nowhere else to go. After driving aimlessly, I wound up at the east side of the forest. There’s a cliff a ways in that overlooks Beacon Hills. My feet automatically led me to my destination. The view is still as breathtaking as I remembered. My mothers warnings of not getting too close to the edge of the cliff flitted through my mind briefly as I sat down right on the edge.

 

My mind wandered through many different thoughts. At first, Aiden was all I could think about. His death was still fresh in my mind. The high tension of that day was unforgettable. Either we were going to save Stiles by stopping the Noguitsune once and for all or we were all going to end up dead. Having Stiles leaning on me for support was what made it possible for me to survive going into the school. Well, I guess that wasn’t the only reason I liked him leaning against me. I loved having his attention. I loved that he needed me. Stiles had occupied my mind completely that day. That’s why I feel so terrible about Aiden’s death. I’m a Banshee. I predict death. I should’ve known he was in danger. I should’ve done something. If I hadn’t been so focused on Stiles that day, maybe, just maybe I could’ve saved Aiden.

 

I had chosen to see Aiden only as the bad guy. My mind had been made up by what he’d done to Boyd. I let one terrible thing wipe away all the good things. All the little things Aiden had done just to see me smile. I let one act (that he’d been _forced_ to do!) cloud out how amazing he was. That’s why when Stiles asked if we’d all made it, I felt my world shatter. Within seconds I’d jumped up and ran out of the school. Stiles was hot on my tail the entire way. I’d barely made it to the top of the steps when I froze. Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched Ethan curl over Aiden’s body. I whirled around and found myself crying against Stiles’ chest.

 

It took a while for Ethan to get Aiden’s body back from the crooner. Being yet another stabbing victim as well as having died on school grounds meant there was an investigation. Ethan held a small service for Aiden and buried him in the Beacon Hills cemetery. The entire time at the funeral and the small gathering afterwards I never spoke. People were polite, including the pack, but nobody understood what an amazing person the world lost. After Ethan was tired of greeting people, he came over to me and we just clung to each other. Nobody else understood.

 

It was around the time of Aiden’s funeral that I started noticing the distance between the pack and myself. Stiles and Malia had gotten incredibly close afterwards. More often than not, when I’d call him to hang out, seeking comfort, he’d say ‘Sorry. I already have plans with Malia. Maybe another time?’ Eventually I stopped calling. Soon after I stopped calling, I found myself starring at the lunch table from across the cafeteria and noting there wasn’t a place for me to sit.

 

It wasn’t until I found myself wondering in the murdered family’s house that I was reminded I wasn’t invisible. Deputy Parrish nearly gave me a heart attack when he came into the house with his gun drawn. It was the first time in months someone had noticed me. He seemed so intrigued by my knack of winding up at murder scenes. He had been so sure I was clairvoyant. He had no clue of the supernatural world. He didn’t realize I’m a banshee. It all makes me think he’s not aware he’s supernatural. I don’t know how to ask him about his name being on the dead pool. The only person who is straightforward enough and not too aggressive to be able to get the information from Parrish is Stiles. Plus with his dad being Sheriff, it’d be a good excuse for us to be at the station talking to a deputy. With a sigh, I leaned back and starred up at the sky before grabbing my phone and dialing Stiles’ number. After the fifth ring, I was about to hang up, but he finally answered.

 

“Hello?” His voice was slurred and raspy.

 

“Stiles? It’s Lydia.” I tried to keep the anxious edge out of my voice. We haven’t really been on the best terms lately, so I’m not sure how this conversation is going to go.

 

“Lydia? Ugh.” My heart dropped. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

 

That took me by surprise. “What? Um, no. No not really.”

 

“It’s just after two am. What is so important you had to wake me up at this ungodly hour?” His voice didn’t hold any anger or malic.

 

“Sorry for waking you. I hadn’t realized how late it was.” I whispered my apology, waiting for him to tell me off.

 

“What do you mean you didn’t realize? Where are you? Is everything okay? Is there a body?” His questions came quickly.

 

I was so caught off guard by his concern that it took me a minute to process what he’d asked. “I’m fine. I’m out at the cliff in the woods. And-“

 

“What?! Lydia! What are you doing at the cliff?! Please don’t do anything stupid! Talk-“

 

“STILES!” I yelled cutting him off. “If you would’ve let me finish, you would know I was calling to talk about Deputy Parrish.”

 

There was a pause before Stiles answered. “Why did you go to the cliff, Lydia?”

 

I knew we weren’t going to be able to talk about Deputy Parrish until Stiles got the answers to his questions. I sighed before deciding what to say. “I came here to think, Stiles. It’s the only place I can get away from people without feeling alone or abandoned. I come here a lot actually.”

 

“What were you thinking about?” His voice was quiet, but I could hear the curiosity coloring his tone.

 

“A little bit of everything. Mostly Aiden, but also you and Malia. And the pack.” I quickly tacked on the pack so it wouldn’t be as obvious I was mostly thinking about Stiles.

 

“What about us? Lydia, what’s going on with you?”

 

“What do you mean what’s going on with me?”

 

“I mean, ever since the stuff with the noguitsune you’ve been acting different. You’re always so quiet and it’s like you’re never around anymore. And you said you didn’t want to feel abandoned, but you’ve cut us off Lydia.”

 

I couldn’t believe him! I felt the building anger from the last few months finally burst from me. “Fuck you Stiles! Of course I was quiet! My boyfriend died. Died Stiles! As in he’s _DEAD_ and I will _NEVER_ get to see him again _EVER_! And how dare you have the _nerve_ to say I cut you guys off. Scott had Kira and never bothered to see if I was alright, Kira was sooo infatuated with Scott that she’d forget _our_ plans and go hangout with Scott instead! Isaac is _gone_! I hardly knew Malia and she’s not huge on the friendship thing. But _YOU_? I thought that you’d be _there_ for me! I _NEEDED_ someone Stiles! I needed you but you weren’t there! I’d call but you always had plans with Malia and we could hangout _some other time_! So tell me again how I cut you guys off! You were the ones who fucking abandoned _ME_!” I angrily hung up the phone.

 

            It wasn’t until something wet hit my shaking hands that I realized I was crying. I bent my knees and tucked them under my chin before wrapping my arms around them and putting my head on them and crying. How did things between Stiles and me go from him looking at me like I was his world to us fighting every time we’re around each other? Now Stiles looks at Malia the way he used to look at me. I don’t think there’s anything I could do to make him look at me like that anymore. I’d had my chance for Stiles and completely blew it. My heart wanted to blame Malia for swooping in and taking Stiles, but I knew deep down that knowing Stiles has someone who makes him happy was good enough for me.

 

I don’t think there’ll ever be anyone for me. Stiles had been so patient and caring with me, but I took it for granted until it was too late. Jackson had loved me chasing after him more than he ever actually loved me. The only person who had loved me, banshee craziness and all, that had stayed was Aiden. But Aiden’s dead. Because Stiles is with Malia and Aiden’s dead, I don’t think there’ll be someone for me in the future.

 

I heard someone walk up the deer path to the cliff behind me. I couldn’t bring myself to care or even to be scared.

 

“You shouldn’t be by yourself at this time of night. It’s not safe with all the supernaturals and hurters running around.” It was just Stiles. He sighed when I didn’t respond. “Lydia? Can we talk? Please?”

 

Once again I didn’t respond. The sound of leaves crunching were the only indication of Stiles coming closer to me. He gently placed something warm around my shoulders. Once he was sure it wouldn’t slide off, he sat down next to me.

 

“I wasn’t sure you’d still be here.” He started with quietly. “I’ve had a bit of time to think about what you said. You were right.” I slowly raised my head and looked at him questioningly. Green eyes that had long since lost their light met golden filled with unshed tears. “Lydia I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I held up the edge of the blanket as an invitation. Stiles was quick to accept and slide right next to me. “What can I do to make it up to you?” His voice quivered as he asked.

 

“Just stay with me right now.” My voice was rough after yelling at Stiles then crying.

 

            Stiles rubbed his hand up and down my back in an attempt to give me some comfort. Although, having him so close after months of separation was more comforting than he’d ever know. I let my head fall against his shoulder and sighed. As much as I wanted to ignore it, my mind was nagging that this wouldn’t last. It was only a matter of time before Stiles would run back to Malia and I would once again be forgotten. At that thought my grip tightened on the blanket and before Stiles could say anything I got back to the original reason I had called him.

 

“Deputy Parrish is on the dead pool for five million.” My voice was fairly monotone as I spoke.

 

“Jordan? Why the hell is he on the list?” Stiles’ surprise was comforting.

“Obviously he must be some supernatural creature.”

 

“There’s no way. There is simple not a way for him to be supernatural, Lydia. Scott would’ve noticed!”

 

“He’s probably not a werewolf. Scott might not have noticed.” I pointed out.

 

“Even so, we would’ve noticed supernatural happenings if he was a supernatural being.” Stiles argued.

 

“I don’t think he knows he’s supernatural.” I confessed.

 

“What do you mean you don’t think he knows?”

 

It took me a minute to find the right words for what I was trying to say. “I think whatever he is, doesn’t force him into the supernatural world unless he wants to. And I know he is much of a believer of the stuff.” Stiles was quiet when I paused so I continued. “He doesn’t know I’m a banshee. Parrish thinks I’m physic or something.”

 

“We need to talk to him. Tomorrow.”

 

I nodded before leaning against him again. Sitting like this made it easy to forget the last few months. Being this close to him makes me wish it never happened. If I closed my eyes, it was almost as if we’d gone back to when Allison was still around and Stiles looked at me like I was his whole world. Unfortunately, it didn’t change anything. We weren’t okay. It didn’t change the fact he’d forgotten about me and had been very harsh whenever I was involved. Against my better judgment, I felt myself asking him why.

 

“Stiles?” I was afraid to know his answer, but I needed to know.

 

“Hmm?” He sounded tired.

 

“Back when you and Scott asked me to meet you at Derek’s apartment, you two were fighting before I got there. Remember?”

 

As I spoke I felt him tense up next to me. Stiles sighed before answering. “Yeah, I remember.” His voice was barely a whisper.

 

“Why did you tell Scott that you didn’t need me? That I’d only be a liability?” I could tell my voice was shaking, but I pushed on anyway.

 

“Lydia,” I could tell Stiles was overrun by emotion and was having a hard time getting his thoughts in order. “I was scared, Lydia. We’d just lost Allison and everything was, well, it wasn’t good.” Stiles turned and wrapped his arms around me. “You’re very precious to me, Lydia. I know I’ve been doing a pretty shit job at showing it recently, but you are, and I guess I was hoping to protect you.”

 

“How were you protecting me when you abandoned me?” I felt a bit of that bitter betrayal creeping back.

 

His grip on me tightened as if he thought I’d run away from him. “I thought that maybe if I put some distance between you and the pack, you wouldn’t be as directly in danger anymore.”

 

“How very Dumbledore of you, but did you forget how that backfired?” I couldn’t help the amount of sarcasm that made its way into my tone.

 

Stiles kissed the side of my head and kept his lips against my hair as he spoke. I couldn’t help the flutter in my heart when he did so. “I know it didn’t work out then, but I was hoping that with everything that’s happened and everyone we’ve lost, you’d decide to leave this life. Move on and be happy with some ordinary guy at some college.” His voice was muffled by my hair, but I could still tell he was lying.

 

“I can’t exactly leave this life Stiles. I have a tendency of heading one place and ending up somewhere completely different where there’s a dead body.” I pointed out.

 

“Yeah, well, I forgot about that.”

 

At that we both laughed. It made me feel slightly better knowing Stiles had been trying to protect me, but the voice in the back of my head was whispering that it wasn’t okay. Stiles was still going to betray me again. Stiles’s arms tightened around me and I quickly squashed that voice and basked in Stiles just being here with me.

 

“Lydia?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I know you probably won’t forgive me anytime soon,” I tried to say something but he quickly continued. “And I completely get why, but I was hoping we could try to go back to how things used to be between us.”

 

After everything he put me through, I wasn’t sure I was ready to accept his proposition. He’d really hurt me in the last few months. At the same time, I wanted nothing more than for us to go back to how we used to be. Even if I said yes, I knew it’d be hard and he might still spend more time with the rest of the pack than me. Although, the thought of rejecting Stiles was like a knife to the heart.

 

“Okay.” I finally agreed.

 

“Okay?” There was a nervous excitement in his voice. “Oh thank god.”

 

I laughed before snuggling up close to him. If we go back to how we used to be, maybe there was a chance of us being something more. Yeah, something more sounds nice. Really nice actually. I felt myself frown when I remembered Stiles was still dating Malia. I couldn’t, no, I wouldn’t do anything while Stiles was still with Malia. Even though it sucked she was with him, she was still a really nice girl. Her social abilities might be lacking a bit, but she really is nice.

 

Stiles and I sat on the cliff overlooking Beacon Hills for the rest of the night. When the sun finally started coming up, we got up and made our way back to the cars. After agreeing to skip school and meet up at the station, Stiles gave me a hug and drove off. I drove home with a smile on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a filler chapter, but the way Stiles is with Lydia in the next episode makes it look like they worked some of the tension out and are back to being friends.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I'm on vacation as I'm writing this. I'll do my best to stay along the story line of the show, but no promises.


End file.
